Marriage and Work Stress

Posted by: admin on: April 30, 2012

Institution of Marriage  can be a stress reliever if  each of the spouses  was understanding and allowed  him /her to vent his/her  feelings after a hard day’s work only to bounce back the next day.


You come home after a stressful day at work, kick off your shoes, and continue to stew about the unrealistic demands of a customer or an insult from your jerky boss. If you’re married, chances are high that your spouse could come through the door soon with similar gripes.
But what happens next plays a big role in how well you bounce back after a rocky day on the job.
Spouses who talk through their stress and offer support will return to their jobs less agitated, more tolerant of co-workers and more satisfied with their career choices. Those who engage in one-upmanship, show no interest or downplay their spouse’s job concerns quickly become dissatisfied at home and work, a new study shows.
Wayne Hochwarter, professor at Florida State University’s College of Business, surveyed more than 400 working couples in both blue- and white-collar occupations to better understand how couples survive when both endure daily work stress. “In many cases, both husband and wife return home from work stressed, and it is often difficult to generate the mental and emotional resources needed to help when your own tank is empty,” Hochwarter said.
Those husbands and wives who were unable to generate coping support at home returned to work even more agitated, Hochwarter found.
Hochwarter said couples in good marriages are continuously refining the give-and-take at home, sometimes begrudgingly listening to a spouse vent about co-workers who aren’t pulling their weight even after their own miserable day at work. They also are staying in tune to the communication style of their spouse. He found some people don’t want to unload, nor do they want to hear their spouse immediately bombard them with details of their rotten day. “They learn to read each other’s signals.”
In Hochwarter’s study, men and women differed in what supportive behaviors they preferred. Women wanted to be cut slack in terms of household chores and for their husbands to show empathy. Men wanted appreciation, affection and some alone time. Both wanted to feel the other understands the activities, culture and demands that encompass their work day.
Divorced, Reyes says she was miserable in a marriage where she didn’t have spousal support. This time around, in a serious eight-year relationship with Plasencia, she enjoys work and home life more. “It’s not perfect. Sometimes we both retreat to our corners,” she said. But most nights, the two talk through the day’s stresses as they cook dinner together. “In healthy relationships, you look at each other as a sounding board,” Reyes said.


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